If You're Reading This
by hannahmt
Summary: This job came with it's hazards. They knew it, and they did it anyways. But just how quickly can everything go from normal to completely upside down? How suddenly can everything you love be ripped away from you? Warning: Character Death.


Well, I try not to make song related fics, mostly because people don't like them very much. But, I just couldn't get the idea for this story out of my head, and I decided to write it.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, please don't sue me. Constructive criticism is always welcome, but flames will be sent to Sonny for target practice. Enjoy!

Lisa Davis was a woman of many talents. She could make a computer do almost anything she wanted it to, or anything her guys needed her to be capable of. She was independent, and she took shit from no one. She had kept her calm in some pretty bad situations. There was little she couldn't do. She was invincible.

All except when it came to her boys. And especially when it came to Sonny. That man could make her weak in the best and worst of ways.

In the present moment, Lisa was on an airplane, headed from Virginia Beach to Amarillo, Texas. In her hand, she held a letter. A letter that she wanted to scream at every time she thought about it. In her bag, there was a positive pregnancy test that was getting the same reaction. Wanting to block the rest of the world out, she put on her ear buds, turning her music to the highest volume it would reach. She laid her head back against the headrest, trying her best to school her face into a false sense of normalcy. She failed.

~SEAL Team~

Lisa didn't know she had fallen asleep until she woke up. The plane was getting ready to land, and she went about gathering her things so that she could exit without seeing any of the members of Bravo, knowing that they were on the same plane, heading to the same place. It had been Sonny's idea, that they should all take a break for a few days and visit "the greatest state there ever was or will be".

A few days back, she had come clean to Blackburn about her relationship with the wily Texan. After four different pregnancy tests just to make sure, she realized that it would come out eventually. To avoid greater percussions, she had told him everything. She was more than surprised when he understood. Even told her that he would go to bat for her if the brass questioned anything. She suspected it was Eric speaking to her then, not Commander Blackburn. She found she was okay with that.

She was startled out of her musings when she heard clapping. The plane had landed. When it became her turn, she exited into the aisle and off the aircraft. In a hurry to find her luggage, she nearly walked down the escalator. Yet somehow, when she got to the conveyor belt, the rest of Bravo was already there. How they did that, she couldn't figure out, but she didn't care anyways. She just wanted to leave. When she came to stand beside them, no one spoke to her. Ray, always the peacekeeper, smiled warmly at her, but not a word was said.

They all got their suitcases, and walked out of the airport to the waiting cabs. They would be squished, three to one cab and four to another, but none of them really minded. Even Lisa was used to close confines, and it would shorten their caravan to ride in just two cabs rather than three.

~SEAL Team~

As the cabs made their way down the long winding driveway that led to the Quinn household. Sonny was always talking about the house that he'd grown up in, that had kept his mother and his sisters close to him when his father died overseas.

Pulling to a stop beside the front porch, they all got their first glimpse at Mary-Anne Quinn. She looked exactly as he'd described her, down to the dimples as she smiled at them all. Blackburn stepped onto the steps as the rest of them stood back with their luggage.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Quinn," Eric greeted as he shook her hand. She shook his back firmly, and ushered them all inside, while the rest of Bravo greeted her similarly.

The house was beautiful. Similar to a log cabin on the inside and out, it was almost exactly matching to the mindset of the ranch that surrounded it. Ms. Quinn directed them all to the living room, urging them to sit down and asking them if they wanted anything to eat or drink. When they all declined politely, she took a seat in an old rocking chair. All of them exchanged small talk for a few minutes, until the topic of discussion turned to the reason for the visit.

"How are you feeling Ms. Quinn?" Jason asked. The woman turned her eyes to him and smiled, a small quirk of her lips.

"Please, call me Mary-Anne. I don't want to feel any older than I am," she chuckled warmly. "I suppose I'm going to have to be alright." She spoke slowly, sad eyes betraying the smile on her face.

Bravo nodded, they were all going to have to be alright, but that could come later. Right now, they were going to grant themselves time to grieve. To grieve the loss of a brother. A partner. An acquaintance, and a lover.

They all heard a car pull up in the front yard, and Mary-Anne went to greet it. Leaving them all in the living room with each other. Jason and Trent were often looking over at Lisa, with looks that she couldn't identify. Brock, Ray and Clay were doing the same thing, but at least their glances were decipherable. It was pity shining in their eyes. Pity that she didn't want, thought she didn't need.

Mary-Anne walked back through the door with two younger women in tow, all of their arms loaded down with grocery bags. All three of them looked as though they were about to topple over, so Bravo, plus Lisa and Eric, immediately moved to help them. After getting the bags situated in the kitchen, they all sat back down in the living room, now with the addition of two others.

"This is my eldest, Georgia Lynn, and this is Casey Lee. She's my youngest," Mary-Anne explained, pointing to each of the two in turn. They exchanged greetings with those sitting in the living room, sad eyes mirroring their mother's.

As conversation dwindled, all of their minds turned to the reason for their visit. The truth is, Bravo had been planning a trip to Texas for a while, wanting to be able to meet Sonny's family that he spoke so highly of. His sisters and his mother, the ranch that he grew up on, the state that he was so proud of. He had wanted to show all of it off. He had wanted them all to personally know the things that he loved so much, that he spoke so highly of. And while Bravo was seeing everything now, it wasn't under the circumstances that they had wanted.

"Have you picked a date for the funeral?" Trent asked slowly, treading carefully with the tension in the room. Mary-Anne looked up, tears misting in her eyes. She knew this day would probably come, she had only hoped it wouldn't.

"Uh, Thursday. Give us time to get things ready." Thursday was in two days. No doubt about it, it was going to be hard.

They were going to bury their son, their brother, their lover. They were going to bury Bravo Three. They were going to bury Sonny.

~SEAL Team~

Thursday morning, Lisa was getting ready. Over the past two days, she had been able to become better acquainted with Sonny's family. The family that could have been her own one day. The loving mother and sisters that had kept Sonny going when he was new in the Navy. The women that had Sonny's heart, and that she had grown to share with them. Two days to learn everything about them that she thought she already knew from everything he had told her. It was Thursday morning, and sitting in her hotel room trying to keep her composure, she broke down.

It was the first time that she had really cried for her fallen boyfriend, though he suspected they were getting close to being more than that. Of course, there were the initial heart-shattering shock that came when she had heard him take four bullets over the comms. The tears came later on, when they all had to make the too-long trip back to the States sitting next to a flag draped box. She had hidden away behind the crates that held their TOC equipment when everyone was asleep, making sure she stayed quiet.

When they arrived back to the U.S., she wanted to just make a run for it. Find a bar and drink until she couldn't think anymore. But that seemed like such a Sonny thing to do, and she didn't think alcohol would drown this pain anyways. All of Bravo, plus her and Eric ended up gathering in TOC. It was then, a few days after having come clean to Blackburn, that she laid all of her cards on the table. She told Bavo of her and Sonny's relationship, how that she was now pregnant with his child. It was a vulnerable moment, one that she would remember for the rest of her life.

Lisa shook her head and wiped her face, trying to ignore all of the oncoming thoughts that would make it impossible to get through this. She needed to get through this. She looked over again at the letter laying on the bed. She had read it at least a thousand times, clinging to this piece of Sonny that she had. She picked it up and pulled it out of the envelope. With red eyes, she started to read it again.

_Dearest Lisa,_

_If you know me as well as I know you do, then you know I'm not real good with words. Because you're reading this, something must have happened. I'm sorry y'all are goin' through this, and that it's my fault. I'm sure everybody's blamin' themselves, but we all know it wasn't anybody's fault but my own, if that._

_Don't blame yourself Lis. We both know the things we're gettin' into when we sign up for this job. If it was my time, then it was my time, and there ain't a thing in the world any of us could do about it._

_Three days ago, you told me about the little miracle you're holdin' on to. Since at the moment, we don't know what it is yet, I'm kinda leanin' towards a unisex name. Just in case. I sorta always wanted my firstborn to be named Dallas, if it makes any difference. I hope their a fighter, like the both of us._

_By now, you've probably met mama and the girls. Keep 'em close, I know they woulda liked you._

_I'm runnin' outta page here, but I got so much I wanna say, in case I don't get to say it in the moment. I wish I could hold you, just one more time. I wish shit like this didn't happen to people._

_Eventually, you're gonna get over me. I know you will, and it's okay. You'll find someone that makes you smile, that you can be with without havin' ta hide. I want that for you Lisa. I just want you to be happy._

_They'll say that I'm in a better place, but I need you to know that it can't be better, not without you. You're my everything. I love you. ~Sonny_

She managed to tear her eyes away from the piece of paper, folding it gently and putting it back in the envelope. Crying slightly, she remembered the day that she had told Sonny about the child that they were going to have. She was scared, but he was elated. It was almost two months ago. She grabbed her purse, slipped the letter inside, and headed for the door. With one final tear cascading down her cheek, she took a deep breath, and started her trek down to the cab that would take her to the gravesite.

She was going to be strong. She needed to be strong, when weakness wasn't an option, like right now. She needed to be invincible, and brave. Right now, she needed to be Lisa Davis, the woman who was a rock. But, she found that hard to do.

Especially now that her rock was gone.

Please, please don't hate me! I'm going to be honest, I made myself cry trying to write this. Just don't come after me with pitchforks, alright? I think it's probably safe to say that i might could be persuaded into writing a sequel if the inspiration is forthcoming, but for now, the story stands as complete.

Thanks for reading! Leave a review and tell me what you think!


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